This question gets asked a LOT across Twitter, in forums, and unfortunately in my email inbox. It may seem intrusive, unfair, or unbalanced when providers ask for your real world information.

But here’s the really real…as providers we are at a MUCH bigger power disadvantage in provider/client interactions. Having your real world information is a way we guard against people who would like to do very real and very big physical harm to us…to be blunt, people who would like to see us brutalized or worse. Having this information decreases the likelihood that bad actors will try something. You might be saying, “But Mikaela I would never hurt someone, why can’t you trust that?” The sad truth is that we simply cannot know someone’s intent until we get a feel for them. So, until such time, we ask for information should we be harmed.

The other reason is actually for YOUR safety. Yes, believe it or not, asking for real world information decreases the likelihood that you’re interacting with law enforcement, a person who would rob you, or do you physical harm. Why? Because those folks do not need or care about your real world information, they simply want you to show up to where they are ASAP and without hesitation! The time it takes to ask for and receive your information is time they could spend harming you. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at the many Reddit posts from clients telling horror stories.

For me and my safety needs, provider references are a nice to have, not a need to have. There are occasions where I may ask you for provider references—usually in the case where I am having trouble verifying your real world information. But I will almost never accept references as sole screening. There is an extremely short list of colleagues I trust my safety to.

I am happy to provide references to any independent (non-agency, etc), verifiable providers. Here are a few rules for this:

• You MUST give me notice before listing me as a reference so I don’t accidentally break discretion by divulging sensitive information to the wrong hands. If you do not do this, you get one warning before I will decline to continue seeing you.
• You MAY ONLY list my ProtonMail email address (datemikaela@protonmail.ch) and my website to any other providers. You MAY NOT share my phone number and that is STRICTLY PROHIBITED.
• Any provider contacting me must be able to be verified via website, Twitter, or an ad on a well known industry site. I WILL NOT provide references to agencies or any other third parties.

Failure to comply with these rules may result in my no longer continuing to see you.

Absolutely! I screen primarily via real world information. Provider references are a nice to have, not a need to have. So don’t worry. If you’re new I highly recommend reading through my website entirely so you can really get a feel for me, my expectations of you, and the types of experiences I provide. I can’t wait to meet you!

I generally don’t allow reviews on MOST sites. Please see my Expectations page for details on why. However, I do allow reviews to be left on my Private Delights profile. So if you’d like to get an idea of what an experience with me might be like, please peruse them. 

I completely understand that the term “queer” might be confusing to those who haven’t been exposed to it, the queer community, or the queer movement. But I assure you, I truly enjoy intimacy with people of ALL genders. Your gender has no bearing on my attraction to you, rather my attraction is piqued by kindness, communication, and compassion. (No cap, as the kids say!) If you’d like to learn more about what queerness means to me, I wrote a blog post about it!

I’ve been told that my communication style and online presense can seem a little formal or intimidating. I promise, I’m not nearly as stayed or scary as I may seem! And I’ll tell you a super secret — I get nervous on first dates too. I’ve spent a lot of time in my life overcoming shyness. I have a relaxed demeanor and am adept at helping people feel appreciated. I suggest you take a look at my Expectations page to get an idea of how things will go before, during, and after our time together. Also, check out this handy-dandy “Do’s and Don’ts” list. Maybe consider booking a dinner date or a longer experience to make sure we both have time to get to know each other without rushing.

It’s important to say that compensation is for time and companionship ONLY. So, if I can be frank, I do not like entertaining questions like this and asking them will result in me being very quiet and guarded at best. Being guarded means we are likely to both be ill-at-ease and not have a great time together — and I want to have a great time with you! I provide genuine intimate experiences of different varieties. What happens during those experiences is a matter of what feels right for both of us. As such I do not have a list or a “menu.” I love learning about what lights you up, so please feel free to share your non-explicit likes and dislikes! You will find that as we get to know each other there are numerous things I enjoy experiencing with people.

For friends in Virginia, DC metro, or Raleigh NC I generally book a week or more in advance. I have an active community organizer life and travel for days at a time, so the sooner you request my time, the better. I may occassionally be able to take same day bookings when I’m at home. And more likely to take them when I’m on tour. As always, I will need sufficient time to screen and verify you so please take that into consideration when contacting me.

I get this question a lot, whether directly or indirectly. Not to worry, love! I enjoy a vast array of experiences with my paramours. Kink is not the be all, end all form of intimacy. Most of my suitors seek a deeply connective and restorative experience of some variety or another. My kink life can simply serve as a part of my complex foundation of experiences and perhaps titallating cocktail conversation. It’s not something I require of anyone, nor does it mean anything if that’s not where your interests lie.

I’m afraid not, darling. For safety reasons I only allow folks with lots of experience do that. So unless I can thoroughly vet you and have had the opportunity to see you tie in the public kink realm, it’s not a request I can entertain.

I love tying folks! But let’s get to know each other a bit first. I need to know how we communicate together in order to feel comfortable tying you.

It may sound cheesy, but good communication is my #1 turn on! If you are not adept at it, that’s ok, I understand it takes time and practice. Being willing to communicate well goes a long way. My #2 turn on is showing that you’ve read my website thoroughly and make quick work of sending your information and a deposit.

Thoughtfulness, intention, vulnerability are also big turn ons for me! You’ll find I don’t have a list of physical traits that get me going. I am much more attracted to your personality then your height, age, etc, etc. Want to stand out from the crowd? Drop me a thoughtful, respectful, and thorough email and you’ll be at the top of my list.